well, renamed default icons for the icon theme i was using, thanks amoeba
couldnt find anything under ~/.kde, nothing in there having to do with icons
there should be a better way to do this though you would think. i mean i can create a link on the desktop and go to the properties page for that icon and change the icon, i can do that for the Home link also, why cant this be done with the trash can icon? renaming files and copying them into folders is fine, but time consuming and not very user friendly. i guess i could just make my own icon theme and do it that way.....
anyway, got the trash icon changed, thanks all.