here's quite a good list http://www.icculus.org/lgfaq/gamelist.php
kopete is suitable for my needs
In ~/.kde/share/icons/icon_theme/size/apps/ you'll find kmenu.png & kmenu2.png. Replace those with the ones you prefer.
here's 3.1.3 http://www.slackware.at/data/slackware-9.0/patches/packages/kde/